Well, it’s the last day of 2016, and I thought I should write a blog about it. This hasn’t been an easy year by any means. I have experienced heart break, the failure of a support system, depression, anxiety, abandonment, judgement and loneliness. It was a long year to work through.
But, let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about the good things that happened this year.
This year was a new beginning for me on many levels. I started to rediscover myself, in unexplainable ways. For the first time in years, I listened to my heart, instead of allowing the comments from those I assumed to be more spiritually resilient than I, determine what I should do and how I should do it. I ignored the ‘labels’ I was given in the past and did my own thing. I spent time pouring into myself, instead of letting myself get sucked dry by others.
During this time, I discovered the joy of painting for others, not just myself. Painting has become a therapy that speaks to my melancholy self, more than speaking to another human ever could. There is something very deep, and personal about creating something.
I also started writing, for the first time in over ten years. Aside from blogs and random poems here and there. This is something I have kept to myself for the most part, because I was allowing fear to hold me back, wondering what others would think of my work, or how many little old church lady friends I would offend.
I have discovered that this is who I am: A writer. An artist. An activist.
Sometimes it’s weird for me to admit that I have been wandering around for the longest time, assuming, or pretending that I knew myself, or what I wanted to do. However, I am grateful to have discovered this new empowerment in the darkness of my trials, this is something I can take into 2017 with me.
This is something I can take with me for the rest of my life.
Happy New Year y’all. As you walk into this new year, don’t allow the bitterness to step over the threshold. Beat it down and reach out for the joy that is waiting for you on the other side.