Lack thereof

I struggle because you don’t understand

I struggle because I wish I knew

I wish you knew

The barrier between us

That you don’t understand

Don’t get it

Can’t feel my pain

My hurt

You crack a joke

You brush it off

Not because you don’t care

Because you don’t understand

You can’t process

You don’t know how

You weren’t built that way

I struggle because you don’t have empathy

You weren’t born like me

You don’t know how

You didn’t know it was missing

Until you met me

I met you

We fell in love

We made plans to grow old together

We made a family

I got sick

I got sad

But you didn’t know how to help

You didn’t know what to do

I lay in bed

Alone in the dark

You pat my back

Tell me to go outside

A little sun will help

I cried

Your eyes remained dry

You didn’t understand

You didn’t know how

It wasn’t your fault

You were born that way

You remained happy

When I was sad

You couldn’t be sad with me

But it’s not your fault

I struggle because you don’t understand

I struggle because I wish I knew

I wish you knew

The barrier between us

When You Met Me

When you met me, you thought I was sweet

You said I was kind and forgiving

Told me you thought I was brave

When you met me, you thought I was whole

What you couldn’t see

Lying under the surface

A wall of electricity

Ready to explode

Implode

Expecting not to survive

Preparing for the worst

A ball of nerves

Tears ready to fall

With no warning

Splintered memories

Not being able to breathe

Can’t focus

Counting to five

Trying not to pass out

Hoping I could leave

Wishing I was stronger

Smarter

Prettier

Not knowing how

To put the pieces together

Lost

Shattered

Ashamed

This you couldn’t see

When you met me, you thought I was sweet

You said I was kind and forgiving

Told me you thought I was brave

When you met me, you thought I was whole